Questioning Love

A conversation with someone I care deeply about made me think. She is questioning men, or people’s faithfulness in general.

Questioning the honesty of people.

Questioning the faithfulness of people.

Questioning love.

She’s losing faith in people because of their appalling actions. This girl has the best soul. She is a thinker and someone who has a true heart of gold. I admire the depths of her caring heart. For her to question these things, it really made me think.

Having been through a situation where my very own soul was crushed to utter pieces, I could empathize with it.

Her question here is simply, given a certain opportunity, would anyone cheat? Does real integrity exist? My heart broke for her to have to think that way. I once, very recently, questioned it myself. The thought of it makes me disheartened, because if that’s true, then what is the point of relationships? Isn’t a major part of life itself falling in love? It’s about falling in love, family and growing together?

She had seen some pretty bad things in the last couple of weeks that had her mind questioning men. She saw one too many people being manipulative, and sneaky behind the backs of the people they supposedly love. She watched as relationships crumbled. She lost her faith in it all.

It’s one of the saddest things I’ve ever heard. It’s also one of the saddest thoughts my own mind has considered.

She shouldn’t have to think this way. She is young, gorgeous and intelligent beyond belief. She needs to know that there is so much hope in love. She should be able to spread her wings and fall into it. We all should. We shouldn’t have to question things and play in these love games, but we do.

It’s just not what you dream of growing up. Growing up, you hear of fairytales, princes and knights in shining armor. I had too, questioned the realness of things we are told as little girls. Where did all these love songs and romantic comedies come from anyway? Were these wishes from the mind? Why would they tease us with this and make us grow older only to learn the harsh reality of love?

It just truly hurt my heart to hear her questioning love like I did. For someone I love like her, I want everything wonderful. I want the fairytale for her. I want a strong, deserving, confident, honest, eyes-only-for-her kind of man.

Having been through heartache myself, I questioned it. I thought I would never trust again. It took friends and family telling me that not every man will cheat. That there are strong, confident men out there waiting to appreciate you. Ones that won’t take you for granted. I mostly rolled my eyes to myself in huge denial and doubt.

Then one day, I found it. I found someone who is in love with me, in love with my son. I found a man who is strong and confident. He broke down all my walls. He was patient, understanding and knew that I needed time to trust again. Slowly, I learned that they are out there. Real, truly great men, with huge hearts are waiting for all of us somewhere. There are men who would never hurt you. They make promises and they keep them. They surprise you. They want to spend time with you more than anything else. They want to listen to you talk and compliment you constantly. They make you feel beautiful, special and appreciate you.

People told me these men really do exist. My brain fought it hard to deny their existence. I didn’t believe them, until now. Believe me, I know that they are hard to come by, but they are there. I have to believe it is real.

All I can hope, it that she finds out this truth too. I hope that she doesn’t have to meet too many frogs before she finds her prince.


One thought on “Questioning Love

  1. I feel for your friend. I too know that kind of pain, and those same thoughts ran through my mind, over and over and over. But, there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I also found a man who loved ME, and treated me with respect, surprises me, loves me. It’s true it’s out there. And here’s the kicker (to me anyway) I thank my ex (in my head) everyday for doing this awful thing to our family, because today, I couldn’t be happier! I’m so blesses to have my husband in my life, the luckiest girl in the world! It’s a life lesson that I had to learn on my own.

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