My Sparkle

A little over a year ago, my best friend told me she was afraid I was losing my “sparkle”. She said I had always carried it with me. ~This invisible spark of light that radiates from my face.

My sparkle.
Gone?

Maybe it was because she knew the truth. Maybe it was because she was one of the few people I let my guard down to. Maybe it’s because she saw through the smile I wore upon my face.

I didn’t even see it leaving me at first. My sparkle fading away.

If I didn’t talk about what happened, it wasn’t real…

Everywhere I went, it sat on a shelf deep within me. I’ll deal with it later. No one knew, but a handful of finely selected people. I think I was trying to prove to myself that I was genuinely okay. That I wouldn’t let this steal my happy.

“And she’ll continue to smile, no matter how hurt she is.”

I held it together. No matter where I went. I didn’t want the situation to get the best of me. People would say, “It’s okay to not always keep it together. It’s okay if you want to cry.” But why do I have to let it steal my “bubbliness”, my silly, my smile…my sparkle? It’s who I am. It has defined me since my very beginning.

Yet, somehow my best friend saw through it. She said it was my eyes that gave it away.

And I began to feel its loss too.

I wanted to believe that I was the same. My entire life had changed, but I still needed to be me.

Time. Time heals all wounds. It’s true.

So does love. Love of family and friends. The love of new people in our lives. Talking to the ones you love. Joshua’s face. Joshua’s smile. Joshua’s sparkle. He has it.

The truth is, I am forever changed. I am stronger than I’ve ever been. I love more than I’ve ever loved. I am still me, only magnified. My eyes are wide open. I see everything now.

This past Fall, what was lost was found. She said, “Aimee, it’s back. I see it again…your sparkle.”

Thank. Goodness.

Advertisements

25 thoughts on “My Sparkle

  1. Aimee it sounds like you have been through something very powerful and perhaps very painful. What works so well in your writing and makes this piece feel so universal is that you don’t reveal what it was. That doesn’t matter. What matters is the way you move through the challenge and find yourself again. Lovely.

  2. Welcome to slicing Aimee. Wow, this piece is amazing! Your internal struggle comes through in your words. “Everywhere I went, it sat on a shelf deep within me.” That line will stick with me. I’m glad you found your sparkle and that you’re slicing this month. 🙂

  3. Thanks for sharing this real and heartfelt slice. I can relate to this, time and loved ones make it better. The sparkle dulls or hides… glad it’s back! Beautiful piece!

  4. Aimee this post is an amazing first post to your blog! I’m so excited that you are doing this writing challenge! I couldn’t have picked a better word to describe you…sparkle. I’m so glad the sparkle is back and even though you might have felt it gone inside, you always are smiling and positive and it makes other people feel happy! You are an amazing strong woman and mommy! Everyone in your life is lucky to have you!

  5. Aimee I’m so glad you are doing this writing challenge, this is a great first post to your blog! I couldn’t have picked a better word to describe you… sparkle. Even though you might have felt inside that your sparkle was gone you are always so happy and positive. I’m glad it’s back though! You deserve every happiness you are a strong woman and a great Mommy!

  6. You did it, Aimee!! You Sliced!

    It’s true, you do have a sparkle. If you lost it, then it definitely has been found. You’re just fun to be around. You’re genuine – I think that’s the source of your sparkle. And yes, you’re right, Joshua sparkles too. It’s also in his eyes.

    This piece comes from such honesty and real ness, it just seeps through your words.

    So glad you’re doing this!

  7. love this slice and eerily hits very close to home. I’m glad your sparkle has returned…I feel mine creeping back in as well. Maybe slicing will make it bloom for us both!

  8. Welcome to slicing! I agree with Anna…it works that you don’t reveal what it was that took your sparkle away for a bit. And I’m also agreeing with the others who said they are glad you got it back! Well done! Keep up the good work and keep up the sparkle!

  9. your sparkle completes you. you are truly the most beautiful and loyal sister that i could ever ask for. i thank god everyday that i have you in my life. i wouldn’t know what i would do without you and your sparkle!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s