Future Plans

Dear Joshua,

 Today has me thinking about Spring and the beautiful weather we are about to embark on. I am really looking forward to all of the fun things to do with you this year. I was thinking about all of the fun we had last year, and all of the new and different fun we will have this year, because you are so much bigger now!

 Today I am going to take you on a walk in your favorite wagon to our park by our new house. We haven’t been able to do that since last September. I keep thinking about how much you have changed since last Summer/Fall. You can do so much more now, and you understand so much more. Everything seems to have changed since then.

 We have so much to look forward to this year. I decided to type up a list of a few things we definitely have to look forward to in Spring/Summer 2014.

  • First big vacation to Spooner
  • Tons of trips to the zoo
  • Fishing
  • Lots of wagon and stroller walks
  • Many park visits
  • Visiting family and friends
  • Visits to Lake Katherine
  • Tons and tons of picnics with your aunts
  • The library- hopefully join a club
  • Museums
  • The Children’s Museum
  • Swimming
  • Some downtown adventures
  • Gymboree
  • Great America- (you LOVED this last summer!!)
  • Water Parks- overnight!
  • Sleepovers with your aunts at our house
  • Niagara Falls trip
  • Choo choo restaurant
  • Some kind of train ride!

 This list just got started, but we are definitely doing all of the above. I think this is going to be our best year yet! I love you so much…SO much!! Thanks for being my best bud!

 Love,

 Mommy

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Juggling

As things are changing in my life, I was think about all of the different family and friends that I have. I am so thankful to have them all in my life.

Today I went out to breakfast with my boyfriend’s incredible grandma. She lost her husband earlier this week, and my heart broke for their whole family. I can’t even imagine what that’s like. I loved hearing the stories of her past today when we were together. It reminded me of how much I adore my own grandparents. Family is everything.

After breakfast I started feeling a little anxious. I am extremely close with my family, and I love to spend quality time with each and every one of them. I started thinking about how I need to call and make more time for everyone.

The thing is, my parents are divorced. I have a step family, my moms side, my dad’s side, my ex’s family and my boyfriend’s family.

Holidays are big adventures for Josh and I. Christmas Day alone last year I took Josh to five homes, other than my own. I am realizing now how hard it will be for Josh to juggle all of this as he begins to get older. It was tough for me to make it to every single party as I grew up, but for him it will be tougher. He has even more family. I will just make a conscious effort to always make him feel comfortable with whatever makes him happy and whatever he wants to do. I remember always feeling guilty for missing certain parties when I had to attend others. I vow to never make him feel guilty. I’ve been there.

Josh and I are extremely lucky to have all of these family and friends in our lives. We will learn to juggle. I am going to make a few calls this week for some well needed visits. I think I’ll start with my Dad.

Thanksgiving Hikes

Growing up, my Dad taught me the things he knew. He didn’t know many girl things, and I am pretty “girly”. He taught me to ride dirt bikes, go karts, ride horses, go boating, hiking and fishing.

I am grateful for these times. I especially looked forward to our Thanksgiving hike every year. About 20 of us would hike out to the middle of the forest on Thanksgiving morning every year and we would make bon fires, cook and eat. I would explore with my cousins.

Depending in the weather, we would sled or skate. These memories always stick with me. I loved gathering sticks and helping my Dad cook. We had everything from tacos to soup to s’mores. Every one brought something different.

We would go on adventures and pretend to build homes out if anything in nature we could find. As we got older, we began to remember the path way out to our secret spot in the middle of the forest.

So many memories are there and are still made every year. I haven’t gone in a few years, but maybe this is the year I might head back. Maybe soon I can share with Josh my childhood tradition. He can begin some adventures of his own.

15

The things we do when we are 15. You look back and laugh and cringe.

Driving your best friend’s car with her as a passenger with no license or permit on the highway, or just taking drives.

Bad idea.

Borrowing your best friend’s car to visit another friend, with no license or permit.

Bad idea.

Your best friend and you telling both your parents you are going to a friend nearby, and really visiting your boyfriend in Oswego…and then getting in a big car accident and getting caught.

Bad idea.

Sleeping in the cornfields with one of your best friends while away working as a lifeguard at a summer camp, but everyone thought you were at your friend’s parents…then getting in huge trouble.

Bad idea.

Not being allowed to have a boyfriend until you are 16, but having one anyways.

Bad idea.

Sleeping over at your best friend’s house on a school night to get a project done while her parents were out of town, and literally staying up all night long. The next day at school, falling asleep in class all day.

Bad idea.

The list could go on and on of all the bad choices we make. Some of them turned out pretty funny, but you hope your own children don’t do the same. For the record, I was a pretty good kid. 😄

Crunchy Blanket

You used to be so comfortable. I searched for the perfect one.

I took great care and washed you with my Tide. I used fabric softener and a dryer sheet, so you’d smell so good and be extra soft.

You aren’t though. You’re crunchy.

Every time I dry you after washing, I burn you. I have to pull you apart and you are so, so crunchy.

Why??

I’ve done this so many times to you, and I just don’t understand. I tried the delicate cycle, but you are still so darn crunchy.

Pacey Witter

Every Wednesday night it came. It gave me chills and sent my nerves wild as the hour approached. The creek. The setting. His brown hair. The banter between characters. His whit. The love triangle. God…how I used to long for that in my own life.

Joey, Dawson, Pacey. Oh, Pacey.

They were my life for seven years. Not one show has matched it since. Yes, Gilmore Girls came in a close second…but when I think of my Dawson’s Creek…it’s like nostalgic. I can remember running, not walking down the street to my friend Rachel’s and throwing my body down in front of her TV, laying on my stomach- one hand on each of my cheeks. She KNEW not to talk until commercials. Those were my high school years. I lived for those nights.

I was madly in love with Joshua Jackson.

I used to fantasize that I’d run into him at Dominick’s while grocery shopping. Like he’d see me down an aisle and fall deeply in love with me at first sight. I literally replayed this fantasy more than several times in my mind. It never happened though.

Bummer.

During my college years, my love for Dawson’s Creek continued on. Now it was time to watch it with a new friend that was mutually obsessed. Rachel was now away at school. Jorie became my new partner, and we had new routines. Digiorno’s supreme pizza and root beer. Still, no talking until commercials. I got so giddy during the show. I’d scream out at the TV like men scream out at sports.

And, the ending. The ending!!! Just as I always dreamed it would end. Classic. I think it might be time to pull out my season box sets. Oh yes, I own all seven.

Thinking of heading to Dominick’s today…

Delicious

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Mmmhhhh. Dinner was delicious. I think it’s more delicious when you don’t even have to make it yourself.

Chicken stuffed with capicola and sharp provolone, and wrapped with prosciutto. Mmmhhhh. Caprese salad with a balsamic glaze. Did I mention a non-pictured chocolate banana pudding pie?

I’m feeling stuffed and satisfied. It felt like a nice healthy meal. Such a great night, with even better company. Josh and I will sleep well.

Slicing

I had no idea when I began slicing that it would have such an impact on me. I find myself thinking more about writing than ever.

I drive down the street and titles to posts pop in my mind. Words scroll across my face as I stare at the world. I think about writing nonstop. I drive and I wish I could stop and pull over to write down my ideas. They just keep flowing through me.

Now, there are definitely days when I am blank. I have no ideas. It shows in my posts which days I am uninspired.

I am very thankful that I was in the meeting the day that Dana talked about slicing. It is one of the best decisions I have made lately. I am glad that I had this opportunity through my district

It has made me a better teacher too, because I can see through the eyes of my students. I now understand why they have trouble thinking about what they want to write about for the day. I know what it’s like to have writers block. I know what it takes to be inspired.

The comments that I have been receiving on my blog have motivated me so much. I am so appreciative of all the kind things people have said. I have blogged about things that I never ever thought I would open up to because of the comfort people have made me feel through their comments or talks. I feel so safe here. Though I don’t always find the time to comment back, each comment has been read multiple times by me, and I am forever changed by the kindness.

Hot Shower

Today I took a long, hot shower. So long in fact, the water became freezing in the end. It was fantastic.

I got to shave my legs without feeling like I was in competition with time.

It was so relaxing. I was taking in all of the beautiful aromas and just…relaxing for a few precious, rare moments.

I even had time to give myself a pink polished pedicure. Maybe I’ll paint my nails to match!

Feeling thankful for a moment to myself to get ready for the day. Time to put on my new dress and feel like ME!

Shopping Fail

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Dear Joshua,

Mommy needed to go buy some dresses today for a shower and a wake. You are usually my best shopping partner. Not today.

Worst. Shopping. Partner. Ever.

How could I blame you though? I can’t. It had to be extremely boring for you. A two year old shouldn’t be made to stand for minutes at a time while his Mommy searched and searched the same racks repeatedly.

I was one of those Moms at the store. The one watching her son lay on the gross floor in the middle of the mall. Repeatedly. I tried juice, crackers, craisins and all your favorite things. Nothing worked. You were not having it. Everyone was watching us. I kept my patience. I understood you.

Mommy realized she needs to ask for help more often. I should have called a shopping partner or babysitter. I should have known better than that. The patience of a two year old is short. You need to be in places where you can explore and run wild. Dress shopping is not the place for you. Sorry bud! You are my favorite guy. You were pretty hilarious though.

No more shopping adventures for awhile unless we are going to ToysRus. Lesson learned.

***actual photograph from our shopping adventure…haha!!